written by Pete Legrand
Over the summer, I worked at a pool. My job was to let people into the pool. It was very
easy being a booth dork, you just sat around and wrote people's names down on a piece of
paper. Well, people seemed to think that it was a complaint booth. One day, I found a
little note book. I decided to write down what all the stupid customers did. The other
booth dorks quickly caught on, and by the end of the summer, there were well over 50
stupid customers. I have chosen some of the stoopest for my page. And here they are,
written in original form.
-Some guy didn't recognize the baseball players that had a game every Sunday, "I've never
seen them before, do they have permits?"
-"Wizz Wizz Mr. Dragonfly!"... some people is unusual!
-"there is a dog in the park"... and? (by the way, that dog was named earl... he was cool)
-I got a complaint about how some guy brought a snake into the park... like I can do
something about that.
-"My husband must have hid my membership card"... SHUT UP!
-"Where is the pool?" ugh!... are you an idiot? (the pool is right in front of the booth)
-"Can I use the bathroom?"... no, we just put it there because we think it looks nifty.
-"Where in the world is the third grade?"
-Some lady turned in dirty underwear, what am I supposed to do w/ it? Wear it? Alright, I
could wipe my ass with it and rub it in her face, heh heh.
-A lady just came in wearing a moo moo and bent over and mooned me.
-This lady told me to let her husband come in later, her description was, "he has a beard"...
oh! that guy!
-Some lady was telling me how her 5 year old bites other kids... quite frankly, I don't care!
-"Good bye Please?"
-Some guy gave me passes to the Bedford Pool... this is the pound ridge pool.
-Some old man called me killer, and commented on my headphones.
-Some lady walked in and told me, "I forgot to go to the bathroom."... ok
-"I will pay when I go into the pool"
-"My son 'flossed' his slippers, where do I look?"
-This kid in the kiddie pool was squirting the life guard with a water gun, All of a sudden,
he pulled out this huge water gun and sprayed the kid so hard that he fell over... it was
funny.
-Some moron broke the kiddie pool gate, he decided to yell at me because I am the "Gate
keeper"... no, I'm the keymaster, you are looking for zuel.
-"Hi, I just have to locate my sons lizard"... so you can drain it?
there are a lot more, but these are the best of them!!!!